| A few weeks ago I was staying at a local guesthouse when an Australian
family arrived.
I was very curious about them so I watched them as they picked
up their key from the reception area and I also looked into their
room as I walked past when they moved in with their luggage. The
whole family then came outside and sat down in the restaurant. I
watched them curiously as they ordered lunch. Suddenly the father
of the family came right up to me and angrily said “What are
you staring at?" Why was he so angry with me?
Agus |
In many parts of Indonesia it seems to be acceptable to openly and curiously
look at strangers because their actions belong to a collective public
arena, which others have the right to observe. In Australian culture however
it is extremely rude to openly and curiously look at someone you don’t
know. By directly looking at this family over a period of time, especially
by looking into their room as you passed, you made them feel you didn’t
respect their right to privacy and that you were ‘staring’
at them. Some Australians interpret this kind of looking behaviour, no
matter how harmless it is intended to be, as an aggressive assault on
their privacy and may even challenge you to a fight. When dealing with
strangers, Australians try very hard to only glance and perhaps smile
briefly at the stranger and then carefully avert their eyes. This is particularly
the case if that stranger has a physical disability. If the stranger meets
their eye and returns their smile, they may make conversation but if they
don’t that person will be left respectfully alone. Australians only
look openly at strangers if they think they won’t be observed.
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| A question about eye contact
in Australia |
| I tend to make eye contact when I speak or listen to someone. By
doing that I think I show the speaker or listener that I appreciate
him or her or that I’m paying attention. Should I do the same
thing in Australia? How about if I’m talking to my lecturer
or tutor, is it different?
Marnie
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In Australia it is important to use direct eye contact to show you are
an open honest person. Maintaining a steady gaze on someone’s face
is particularly important when you are listening otherwise they may think
you are not paying attention or that you are not interested in what they’re
saying. When you are speaking, it is OK to let your eyes move around a
bit, as long as you keep coming back to the other person’s face
from time to time. If you avoid direct eye contact when speaking, Australians
may think you are trying to hide something or that you lack self-confidence.
These rules apply whether you are speaking to someone of high or low
status because egalitarianism is a very important Australian cultural
value. This means Australians tend to relate to each other horizontally
not vertically like in Indonesia, regardless of differences in age or
status. In Australia showing too much deference to another person because
of their status is almost a taboo. If you act like this you will make
Australians feel very uncomfortable and embarrassed and if you keep acting
in this way people may avoid you. Australians usually have an aversion
to being treated as if they were ‘higher’ than someone else
and tend to regard this behaviour as the ‘bowing and scraping’
of ‘crawlers’-that is people who ingratiate themselves with
others to get what they want. If you want a comfortable easy relationship
with your lecturer, learn to treat them as a 'colleague':-use their first
name (if this is how they introduce themselves), use direct eye contact
and an open, relaxed body posture. Remember in Australia we show respect
for someone’s importance by not ‘wasting’ their time
and by respecting their right to space and privacy.
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