| Don't Smile When you Say
You are Sorry! |
This was an unforgettable experience I had with my ‘cyber’
friend. He’s Australian and we usually use camera and voice chat
while chatting. One day, I was supposed to apologize because I didn’t
answer his call twice. I was in class at that time and we’re not
allowed to answer any calls during the lesson. So, I said “sorry”
to him with a little smile but didn’t look at him. I got shocked
when he suddenly yelled at me, “you’re lying”. Later,
in the cross-cultural class, I learnt that I shouldn’t have done
it in that way. Australians tend to look at the person and say sorry without
smiling. (Yo)
| In Australia if you smile when you say sorry people think you don’t
really mean it or that you are hiding something. |
| Eastern and Western
Cultures |
The way people ask for help is a good example of the kind of cross cultural
problems that are caused by the different points of view of Eastern and
Western cultures. Indonesians have a tendency to give an order or a command
if they ask for help from someone 'beneath' them. The Indonesian point
of view is based on the idea that society is divided into classes. The
higher class or the powerful class has a privilege to command the lower
class, for example servants or employees. Asking for help usually begins
with a command form, e.g. Do it right now!
Bring that glass for me!
Copy this material for me!
In Australia however, the number one rule is avoid giving a direct command
when you ask for help no matter who you are talking to. In their culture
they have to treat people equally and show respect for their personal
autonomy. Australians prefer to ask indirectly, e.g.
Could you do this now?
Would you bring that glass for me please?
Would you mind copying this material for me?
(Yuni)
| How to Make a Negative
Request in Australia |
What if your roommate in Australia makes a lot of noise or plays noisy
music at midnight and you get annoyed about it, how should you tell them?
You should say: “I’m sorry to tell you but your noise/music
every night is really bothering me and I can’t sleep well. Would
you mind turning it down?” In Australia, if you want to complain
about something or someone you should say how it is disturbing you because
it is taboo to blame them directly. It seems like you’re interfering
in their personal life.
(Triana)
| Yes, you will get a much better reaction in your dealing with westerners
if you start by describing how their behaviour makes you feel rather
than criticising the behaviour itself. ( Vlad) |
|
|
When I first arrived here in San Francisco, my first impression was that
the words “thank you” and “excuse me” were the
most important words here, because you say both of them most of the time.
You should always say “excuse me" every time you disturb someone's
attention, e.g. if you touch them unintentionally or you want to pass
in front of them. Always say “thank you” no matter how little
help you get, e.g. if someone holds open the elevator for you. People
also say “thank you” to the driver when they get off the bus.
(Ana)
| In Anglo cultures being polite means showing respect for others'
free will, space, time and privacy. Any situation, no matter how minor,
where you intrude or impose on somebody else is potentially sensitive
and needs to be softened with a “excuse me" and "thank
you". That is why these words are used so much in Anglo cultures. |
| Being Assertive in
Australia |
Being assertive is common in Western culture. Indonesians, on the other
hand, only act assertively with their close relatives and friends. When
Indonesian students study in Australia, they need to train themselves
to be assertive. It’s not really hard. First of all, an understanding
about the reason for having an assertive attitude is important. Westerners
appreciate human rights very much, such as each person’s right to
be a unique individual. However, they also have to consider others’
rights. Their way to accommodate these rights and create an equilibrium
is to be assertive.
For example, at a party, Indonesian students might try to politely explain
all the reasons why they can’t drink alcohol. However, this might
make the other person feel they are being judged for drinking alcohol
themselves. If the Indonesian just answers, “I’ll just have
a soft drink, please” the rights of both persons can be respected.
(Epril)
|
